Paul Martin, EINSTEIN, PISACCO AT PEARLY GATES

Paul Martin, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the mundane/celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart.The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him. "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers.The blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really *are* Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!"

The last to arrive is Paul Martin. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"Paul looks bewildered, "Here is a present for you Saint Peter he says while handing over a thick brown paper envelope." Saint Peter looks at him and says "Arn't you that SOB that passed SSM against the will of God?" "Yes," replied Paul Martin and he continued, "but don't the gays need somebody to love them too Saint Peter?" "Yes they do Paul, but you SOB who the hell are you to try and pay me a bribe to get into heaven?" Saint Peter bellowed. "What are you going to do to me Saint Peter?" Paul began to cry now... "Off with you Paul, you have been condemned to purgatory..." hissed Saint Peter. "Where is that Saint Peter, I don't wanna suffer.." Paul barely bawls out. "Purgatory for you Paul will be a life as the gay assistant to Scott Brison"...screached Saint Peter. At this point a smile began to come across Paul Martin's face as he began to think this was not really a punishment at all, he thought that he would like this actually as he had admired Scott for many years now... But then as he turned to walk away to his fate, Paul could hear Saint Peter say in the background "There is one thing I forgot to tell you Paul, your new name is going to be... Paula" ....laughed Saint Peter as he disappeared into the light!